Tales of the Unemployment Office

For most of my life I have walked around convinced that there must be a hidden camera on me with all of the wild things that I go through!   At this stage of my life, experiencing the loss of a job, I find myself in a whole other realm of strange: the unemployment office.

Not only is that place the best EVER for people watching, it's just a great arena for gut laughing!   Let's take today, for instance.  You must go through a "class" in order to learn how the whole system works and what you need to be doing to find a job.  If I don't know the latter by now, I'm in serious trouble, but onward I go because....I want a good laugh.  I need and deserve it!!

Our "teacher" for the day was there to show us the ropes of unemployment...we were his captive audience for 1.5 hours.   He insisted that we begin the class with all of the "negative stuff" so he could "get it out of the way".  Oh yay...just what I wanted more of:  NEGATIVITY!!   He then proceeded to let us know that there are three kinds of "C" people who come into the office: criers, cussers, and complainers.  Really??  You are talking about people who are out of WORK!  I felt like standing up and saying, "Hey, I'll give you all three just to prove your point and spice up this presentation if I have to!"  I'm a bit amazed at how must disdain I've seen there over the last few weeks.  One worker told a GROWN MAN, "Hey, let's not have another day of attitude, okay?"  Shaking my head...that's what I do most of the time!!

Upon discussing the dos and don'ts of looking for work, our teacher told us, "Now look, people...PLEASE make sure you use an appropriate email.  Make sure it is professional and gives a good impression of you.  I like to use the example of a man who was looking for a job with the email ANTISOCIALTOKER.  So already you've told that employer that you, first, don't like people and second, that you smoke pot!  Is this going to get you a job??!!"  I laughed out LOUD at that one and then asked for a pen, indicating that I needed to write that one down!

One worker today said to me, "You know, you don't look like you belong here."  I replied, "None of us "belong" here in reality, do we?  And just what makes a person look like they "belong" here?"  She didn't have answers, of course.

Friends, I've come to realize that I sort of DO belong there....for laughs, if for no other reason!!